a constant in which I can find no consistency

"The live of mortals is like grass,

they flourish like a flower of the field;

The wind blows over it and it is gone,

and the place there remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting

the Lord's love is with those who fear him..."

~Proverbs 103:15-17~

This verse has always held a place in my soul, a constant reminder of what the simplest truth is; that we will disappear, vanish, never to be seen again. What a humbling thought that is when one considers how self-centered and self-focused we can become.

Time is the only thing we have but can never fully touch. It haunts those whose time ran out, and is a burden to those who wish it would end. But we are not in charge of time. She rules with a mighty thumb, a servant of God Himself. 

I have found myself caught between the parallel of trusting God with patience and the human understanding of time. I've come to the realization that I am not fully trusting God if I am unable to have the faith that He will lead me in His perfect timing and tell me what to say in His perfect way. I am not allowing God the oppurtunity to work within my life in the way He would like. 

I don't want God's permissive will,

I want His PERFECT will.

And seeking that perfect will to come about is going to require me to come under siege by the Lord's mercy and grace, 

trusting in Him with more faith.

 I spent the night under what I had hoped would be stars. All I got was a rippled sea of clouds, hiding the moon for most of the night. 

I found peace there, just myself and the sounds of lives that can only be heard in the dark of the night, voices of creatures and things hidden from view. 

I was alone.

And it was beautiful.

I felt at home there, with the streaked sky above me, a soft summer breeze. It is always a blessing to feel at peace; peace in life, relationships, positions... 

To feel peace is to feel Christ's love,

and to know peace is to know the grace God bestows upon us. 

When I return to nature I find that that is the place where I feel and sense God the most. I am able to spend time away from the distractions of this world and focus on my relationship with my Savior. 

In nature, time hardly exists. There is no giant clock ticking away the minutes, no giant billboards telling you when sales end, and no notifications or updates on who posted what. 

In nature one is simply FREE. 

And that freedom is a glorious thing. 

I struggle with becoming chained to time and letting it control and manipulate me. I find that I need to let go of my feeble understanding of things and how I think they should come into place and simply let go, giving God the right He so richly deserves to tell me when He is going to do things He has planned for me.

To TRUST is to be FREE.