Is it defined, restricted to only those who have crossed the battlefields, risen from a past, left a relationship?
Or can it be simple?
Can someone be considered brave for stepping out of their box, out of their comfortability to try that which they thought they could not or were simply to scared to?
And what does it mean to be scared?
We complicate things when we narrow or define them,
placing limits on things which limits should not exist.
It is the simple act of breathing that is bravery,
arising from the cold comforts of bed to face the day ahead,
and all that it brings.
This dear one is bravery.
It is not a righteous act that only the pretty and proud can achieve. Rather you and I live in a constant battle of whether or not we will reach into the depths of our being to pull the plug that is holding our fear in, releasing it to the spirits of freedom. Learn to breathe again.
"Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection" - Brené Brown
These past weeks have been a culmination of all that is new, terrifying, exciting, and adventurous. Learning to look not only at what is ahead but what has been accomplished behind, is important as we pursue onwards towards the undefined idea of life.
And life is undefined. There is no definition, rule book, or step-by-step guide that we follow for this journey. It is an adventure in and of itself; an adventure many neglect to partake in, instead opting to live with sleepy and worn eyes.
We must embrace all that we do not know, all that we can never understand. For in that we release ourselves from the boundaries of limitation.
My hope is to water the seeds planted within my spirit, the seeds of faith, knowledge, love, and adventure; to cultivate them and watch them flourish in the new chapter of my life, deepening their roots and flourishing their branches.
But perhaps the hardest and most difficult thing is to cut and trim those branches back, learning from mistakes and stumbles. But such is life, a continual opportunity to see, learn, and grow within the depths of our beings.
I look forward to what exists up and over the rise, but I will not forget all that occurred behind, those things that have propelled me to today, just sitting in a coffee shop, slowly sipping a latte as I try and collect the thoughts in the chasm of my mind.
This verse has always held a place in my soul, a constant reminder of what the simplest truth is; that we will disappear, vanish, never to be seen again. What a humbling thought that is when one considers how self-centered and self-focused we can become.
Time is the only thing we have but can never fully touch. It haunts those whose time ran out, and is a burden to those who wish it would end. But we are not in charge of time. She rules with a mighty thumb, a servant of God Himself.
I have found myself caught between the parallel of trusting God with patience and the human understanding of time. I've come to the realization that I am not fully trusting God if I am unable to have the faith that He will lead me in His perfect timing and tell me what to say in His perfect way. I am not allowing God the oppurtunity to work within my life in the way He would like.
I don't want God's permissive will,
I want His PERFECT will.
And seeking that perfect will to come about is going to require me to come under siege by the Lord's mercy and grace,